Thursday, July 28, 2011

Leaving



It is kind of funny, I've lived in Las Cruces on and off for eight years, yet, now that I am leaving, nobody seems to care. That isn't exactly true. Probably two people have made an effort to hang out with me in the last few months. I appreciate it. But it feels like all the different places I have worked, the supposed friends I've made, it should be a bigger deal. And when I leave El Paso in a month I am willing to bet only one person will care there too.

Perhaps I haven't been a good enough friend. I don't know. I try to be a good person and listen to people's problems and be there if anyone needs me. It seems like people enjoy having me around. Maybe I should have been more aggressively social. Maybe social networking sites allowed people to keep in touch with me and have no need to ever see me despite us living minutes away from one another. Whatever the reason, I know when I leave I will not miss this place. There are things I like about Las Cruces (the NMSU campus, Mesilla, the mountains) and El Paso (downtown, my parents' house, the Plaza Classic Film Festival), but I will not miss those things.

The last nearly decade of my life seems like I wasted it and that is why nobody cares here. No matter though. I am moving to Portland. And I feel I will be happy enough to make up for what I did not do here. I am not sad at all about this. Disappointed in the way it is winding down, but if I am not good enough for the people here it is their loss. Ha! Not really.

It is just best for me to get out of here quickly before I bore myself to death.
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