Saturday, March 26, 2011

Death Cat

This is something that frightens me everyday: Sometimes my cat meows at me and I meow back at him. I, however, have no idea what I am saying in Cat. Maybe I am saying, "Yo' momma, you punk ass cat!" And I keep saying this to him so he becomes angrier as each day passes.

Now, he may act all cute and whatever, but I am sure he is plotting his revenge for months of verbal abuse at the unwitting hands of myself. All day long he sits there on the couch, on the shelves, on the chairs, on the tables, floor, bed, radio, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And when that moment comes, when I am at my most vulnerable, he will destroy me.

I do not want that to happen! I really do not! But I fear it is too late. So if I suddenly am poisoned or just plain disappear, I want you to know it was the cat all along. Catface Meowmers killed me.