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Why Does This Girl Hate Me So Much?

Commercials are supposed to make you want to buy something, but I find myself tuning them out. Sometimes I will see a commercial on tv dozens of times before I finally notice for whom the ad is. And increasingly I discover myself not being swayed to buy something, but rather, to not buy something. Basically, if I think your commercial sucks, or it annoys me, I am not buying what you are selling.

And here is the newest ad that just makes me not want to buy this stuff ever. This is supposed to be "The Girlfriend," the perfect girl. Yet everything she says is the opposite of what I would want a girl to be like.



Let's take this point by point:
  1. She likes guys who have "a little fat." Damn! I don't have any. But that isn't a big deal right? She could learn to get over by lack of fat.
  2. She likes guys who have "a little bit hairy back." Damn again! I don't have a hairy back. Strike two for me. At this point I must disgust her...
  3. She likes guys who watch a lot of football. Finally! I love to watch football. But unfortunately for me I "have a job" and miss nearly all of them. I still get points for having an intention to watch a lot of football though I think.
  4. Going out with the boys. Nope. Don't do that. I really don't like hanging out with guys too much. I mean I talk to guys at work or whatever, but aside from the occasional pick up basketball game I am not "going out with the boys." Dudes are kind of disgusting (they are all fat and hairy).
  5. Going to the "striptease." I am pretty sure she means a strip club. And damn! I have never been to one of those, am not interested, and do not plan on going in the future. Strip clubs seem a little sleazy to me. And if this very attractive (and don't get me wrong, I do think she is attractive) lady is your girlfriend couldn't you just have her strip for you? I don't want to judge a book by its cover, but she does not seem like she would have a problem with that. And, again having never been to one I am not entirely sure, you aren't really allowed to have sex with the strippers, right? Another advantage to having your hot girlfriend do it. Maybe? Oh well, that was a stupid thought.
Also, I am not really into her accent. I know a lot of people (women included) are into people with accents, but hers is just annoying. Anyway I guess since this girl would hate me I can't buy Jim Beam. Sorry Jim Beam.

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