Skip to main content

New rule: No Axe Body Spray

Lynx Africa deodorant bodyspray (left) and Afr...Image via Wikipedia
If I was in charge today the world would be a better place, for me. And that's all that matters, right? (To me that is all that matters and if I am in charge then that's all that will matter to you too!)

No Axe Body Spray
Only the biggest douchebags use Axe Body Spray. They drench themselves in the stuff and it smells terrible. The commercials are terrible. "Use this and girls will attack you all the time because they're stupid as hell." Well, I've seen that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xander did not seem to have that great of a time. Plus, did I mention it was only used by the biggest douchebags (and the small ones too)?

No More Reality Shows or MTV
A name should mean something. Reality shows that do not depict reality are stupid. Banned. MTV just completely gave up on the "Music" part of its name. Banned.

No White Guys
I know. It sounds harsh, but hear me out. One night I got out of work and I heard this white guy say, "I'm going to the ol' Slaughter-burger if you guys want to meet up with me." It's called Whataburger, idiot. Plus, I am pretty sick of seeing those Teabaggers. So, you know what? I am a fickle dude. You guys are banned. (Sidenote: white girls can stay)

I Choose the Songs on the Radio
The music on the radio is sickening. All stations will be Pandora stations that I choose the seeds for. The end.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]


Popular posts from this blog

Philippines Vacation: Day Five

After a day of exploring the area near Doljo Beach where we were staying and meeting a strange man, we decided to book a tour of the Chocolate Hills of Bohol. Sadly, a horrible earthquake had caused a great deal of damage. Hundreds of people died and many buildings were demolished, including multiple famous churches. The strongest part of the earthquake happened very close to the Chocolate Hills. For months, we had been monitoring the safety of the island and almost considered changing our plans for the entire country, but we decided to go anyway. In November, following the big typhoon, another earthquake occurred...

Philippines Vacation: Day Two

The next day, we woke up and went to the restaurant at our "hotel" for breakfast. It took some time to get it, but while we waited, we chatted up the staff and some of the other travelers. We were given ube to eat before our food arrived. Ube is a purple root that tastes great by itself. I loved it.

Cambodia Vacation, Part Four: Angkor Wat and More

On the morning of my last day in Siem Reap, I got up super early. I was finally going to see one of the most famous places in the world, Angkor Wat. Outside of my hotel, there were tuk tuk drivers waiting to take anyone to the sites. I basically went with the one who was the least pushy. For a pretty low price, he offered to take me around for the day. I wouldn't say he was a tour guide, but he set the itinerary and then would leave me at each place for as long as I wanted to stay.

Because my time was limited, I wanted to get through all the best places as quickly as possible. My flight left in the evening that day, so I needed to get back to get my stuff at the hotel and then get to the airport. While I would have liked to spend more time, maybe bike around on my own, now I just have a reason to visit again in the next few years!

You have to pay for a day pass before entering. It is all clearly marked and easy to do. They take your picture and put it on the pass. At various plac…