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Showing posts from April, 2010

Mussings: Three or W?

I was at work when I had to write the number three on a piece of paper. The paper was in a plastic sleeve and elevated. Have you ever tried to put a paper inside a plastic sleeve? It is probably harder than brain surgery, for me. So I pulled the paper out only half way and decided to write sideways. As I wrote the number I noticed I had actually written a "w." That's when it hit me: a three and "w" are the same thing, it just depends on your perspective. I just blew my mind, man.


or ?

YOU be the judge!

Maybe I'm Not the Target Market

Image via Wikipedia
Once upon a time I would get ads on Facebook that made sense for me. Then I moved a couple of times and suddenly none of the ads were interesting at all. At first I would get ads for a bunch of stuff happening in Albuquerque. I live about three hours of driving from there. Next came these strange political ads that are the exact opposite of anything I believe in. Add to that all the weird clothing and lifestyle ads; it was just strange.

I'm sorry, but I don't speak Spanish. I have occasionally watched soccer though. However, I never, ever, ever cheer for Mexico. As an America, I want to beat the North American teams first and foremost. Just because I live next to Mexico does not mean I have any ties to the place (and I don't).

Forget those corny firefighter tees? I had no idea that is what those douche-y shirts were! And since I have never claimed to be a firefighter, why would I have a need for "clothing for today's firefighters?" I need cl…

New rule: No Axe Body Spray

Image via Wikipedia If I was in charge today the world would be a better place, for me. And that's all that matters, right? (To me that is all that matters and if I am in charge then that's all that will matter to you too!)

No Axe Body Spray
Only the biggest douchebags use Axe Body Spray. They drench themselves in the stuff and it smells terrible. The commercials are terrible. "Use this and girls will attack you all the time because they're stupid as hell." Well, I've seen that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xander did not seem to have that great of a time. Plus, did I mention it was only used by the biggest douchebags (and the small ones too)?

No More Reality Shows or MTV
A name should mean something. Reality shows that do not depict reality are stupid. Banned. MTV just completely gave up on the "Music" part of its name. Banned.

No White Guys
I know. It sounds harsh, but hear me out. One night I got out of work and I heard this white guy say, …

Conversations

Do you know how nice it is to have somebody who can actually engage you in conversation? Or just be able to joke with? It seems like a pretty simple thing, but I find it hard to find people with whom I can actually have a conversation. And to joke with? Even harder (that's what she said).



I mean, I have simple little conversations about work or sports or whatever, school, weather. That's boring though. Real conversations seem almost impossible to come by. People must think about things, right? I know my mind is racing around all day thinking about things. I see people and think about why they do the things they do (the way they dress or interact with others). Everybody must be that way, thinking, wondering.

And when I make jokes I usually get a, "you're funny." That would be nice every once in awhile, but most people don't add anything. What I want to do is say something weird, have the other person respond as the "straight man" (it's a comedy t…