Sunday, September 7, 2008

Everything You Need to Know about Sarah Palin

The band Heart hates her. The End.Since the Alaska Governor, now Republican Vice Presidential nominee, remains the only thing anyone can talk about forever, here is a rundown of some of the stuff that has been revealed about her. This list is generally in reverse chronological order. I am going to assume most people already know the basics (like how she is the mother of everyone in Alaska and once shot every animal just to watch them die) and may still have missed out on some of the newest, post Convention news. She could be the funnest candidate for office in a long time because it is fun to watch a train wreck, I guess. Is it? Why is that a saying? It seems like a terrible thing actually. Anyway, ready? Let's Go!

  • She is kind of a racist. If by kind of I mean really, really. [LA Progressive]
  • Alaskan indie rock bands do not like her. [Hartford Courant]
  • The people who defend her are idiots and hypocrites. [Comedy Central Insider]

  • She thinks community organizing is pointless and does not really know what they do apparently. [Swampland]
  • She is really easy to make fun of because of her stupid voice and incredibly weird story. [FakeSarahPalin on Twitter and YouTube]


  • She has this strange timeline regarding her last birth where her water breaks when she is in Texas, but she proceeds to speak at a conference and then fly to Alaska to give birth over a dozen hours later in a hospital that is far away from the very good one she happened to be near. And no conservative commentator can believe why anyone would think there is something funny going on. [Vanity Fair]
  • There are about a million other things. Nobody can really keep track of them. Only one place is trying. You can literally waste HOURS looking through all the stuff. [Wonkette]