Friday, November 9, 2007


Swimming down the street (I can't actually swim) the other day I saw something I had never seen before. So I continued on down the road being sure that the rats who controled the sewers didn't get a glimpse of my new watch, the one with the three hands (made around Chernobyl). Those bastards will steal anything they can get their oven mits on.

Now, some people say sayings that we all know. And others just make 'em up. I've never been a big fan. The best things are always dropped. I learned that too.

Why do we have an abudance of rocks and not enough water? Let's just drink rocks. I know what you're saying, "Christmas Oreos before Thanksgiving?" I agree. Beside, rocks are easily placed in sacks and backpacks and carried around. Water's a drag.

I've never believed in mush. But sometimes...sometimes I wish, for just one second, people would all stop, take their allergy medicine and smell the roses. After they discover I've replaced them with plastic flowers, the looks on their faces will be priceless. I'll take a picture and put it on my MySpace profile. The caption'll read: "What I am you'll become. What you are now I once was." No one will understand (or undersit).

Anyway, back to my road story. I was in Washington D.C. the other day and boy are my arms tired! Between the left and the right lies the middle and I had to deal with all sides of the Rubik's cube to stand any chance of leaving there having received my fair shake. It was vanilla and delicious. Thanks for asking.

Break me off a piece of that rat-a-tat-tat (for copyright reasons). Ever imagined having to save the world? It scares me to think what I might have to do if cats realised their full potential. They have claws and Night Lites for eyes! They don't need no lasers. We've been wasting our time all these years looking for the...

Ever consider the true meaning of numbers? What makes one absolutly one? What if it's 1.00000001 and we've been wrong all these years? It'd be easy to fix if we caught it on time. I fear it's too late. How can something change it's value from one (.00000001) day to the next? Something's seriously wrong with that.

Going to class I always see a combination of symbols scratched into the concrete that I have learned to decifer and understand. The message goes: "Everything you know is wrong." Is that weird or what? Chills went down my spine. My sguigglysplosh skipped a beat. But then I had a thought. After that passed I decided I was Wright and the message had it all wrong. I mean, if everything I knew was wrong my world would be upside down. Sorry, our world (I gave up my world domination kick a couple of weeks ago). That is unacceptable. Then I wouldn't be able to understand the symbols. What if I misinterpreted it? It would have no meaning and I'd always know Is Wright. Does thaaaaat make any cents? Lazy piece of no good, scraggly unimported sippy nonsense. Get off of my cloud. Let me enjoy the sight of a sky half full of stars (the rest moved to a better neighborhood).

And fireworks too.