Thursday, January 18, 2007

What'd Up Sucka

The Office (U.S.Image via Wikipedia
Aw yes. A new year full of new hopes and aspirations, situations and persperations. Everybody always seems to be looking forward to the next semester like they won't be cursing the day they were born by midterms. Not me though. I'm not depressed or sad or anything. In fact, I'm not anything. I don't feel good or bad. I'm just uncomfortable and I don't like it.

It's really weird, I don't know of anyone ever feeling like this (I've never heard anyone say anything similar, though I don't think I've stumbled upon something new). I'm having a hard time doing easy things such as conversing with people and I wasn't even that good at it in the first place. I can't think of anything creative, like at all. I'm boring myself people. Even though everything seems to be the same, I feel completely out of place.

Imagine, for a second, being a decent shooter (I'm talking about basketball not guns though it's probably the same thing) and all of a sudden you can't buy a basket. When you go to purchase one they won't take your credit card because their machine is broken and all your cash was left in your pants and you just washed them. And you don't even know why you had so much money in your pockets because you usually use a debit card and rarely carry around cash. So you go to the park to just shoot around, and you can't get even close to making a shot. You try and try.  Keep elbow straight. Square up shoulders. Aim for just over the front of the rim. Nothing. Aw hell, I'll just throw the damn ball at the basket and force it in. Still. Nothing. A right-handed blind person shooting a medicine ball at the eye of a needle fifteen feet high (a regulation basket is ten feet high) left handed from half court has a better chance of making a shot than you. That's sort of how I feel. It's not the end of the world...just...disconcerting.

I think part of the problem is it seems that everyone has somebody to balance them out, a partner of sorts. I'm not talking about a girlfriend or boyfriend (I'm more than used to not having a girlfriend) although they count too. What I mean is simply a balance so you don't veer off in one direction. I don't have that.

But, overall, I don't feel terrible which is the weird thing. I'm don't want to live uncomforably. If I feel bad I can figure out why and fix it. If I feel good I always find a way to ruin it. But since I don't feel either way, I don't know what to do. Anybody have any suggestion? (maybe putting an "s" at the end of the plural form of sugesstion would be a good start, idiot)

I know! The problem is I'm worried about NBC. Not their ratings or anything, I could (couldn't?) care less about that. All week they've been broadcasting here in Smush-O-Vision where the image is compressed and doesn't look right on the screen. I don't have a widescreen t.v. My t.v. is tiny and I can't afford a cheeseburger much less an HD-TV. If the picture isn't right my the time the Office comes on tomorrow I'll...I'll.....well, to quote Meatwad (with one change), "I don't want to do anything illegal here. But I will kill somebody in front of their own momma to watch the Office (that's the change). And if anyone testifies against me, I'll gouge their eyes out."

Yeah, that's it.
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