Tuesday, January 23, 2007

A Total Lack of Respect

Oakland Raiders LogoImage via Wikipedia
So I watched the Indianapolis Colts beat the New England Patriots last night. It would have mattered more to me, but I had just watched the New Mexico State Aggie men's basketball team beat #13 ranked Nevada the night before. It was great, all the yelling and white (we were supposed to "Whiteout" the Pan Am, nobody ran with my idea to advertise it as "White Power"). The Nevada players looked really shaken up and disoriented most of the game.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

What'd Up Sucka

The Office (U.S.Image via Wikipedia
Aw yes. A new year full of new hopes and aspirations, situations and persperations. Everybody always seems to be looking forward to the next semester like they won't be cursing the day they were born by midterms. Not me though. I'm not depressed or sad or anything. In fact, I'm not anything. I don't feel good or bad. I'm just uncomfortable and I don't like it.

It's really weird, I don't know of anyone ever feeling like this (I've never heard anyone say anything similar, though I don't think I've stumbled upon something new). I'm having a hard time doing easy things such as conversing with people and I wasn't even that good at it in the first place. I can't think of anything creative, like at all. I'm boring myself people. Even though everything seems to be the same, I feel completely out of place.

Imagine, for a second, being a decent shooter (I'm talking about basketball not guns though it's probably the same thing) and all of a sudden you can't buy a basket. When you go to purchase one they won't take your credit card because their machine is broken and all your cash was left in your pants and you just washed them. And you don't even know why you had so much money in your pockets because you usually use a debit card and rarely carry around cash. So you go to the park to just shoot around, and you can't get even close to making a shot. You try and try.  Keep elbow straight. Square up shoulders. Aim for just over the front of the rim. Nothing. Aw hell, I'll just throw the damn ball at the basket and force it in. Still. Nothing. A right-handed blind person shooting a medicine ball at the eye of a needle fifteen feet high (a regulation basket is ten feet high) left handed from half court has a better chance of making a shot than you. That's sort of how I feel. It's not the end of the world...just...disconcerting.

I think part of the problem is it seems that everyone has somebody to balance them out, a partner of sorts. I'm not talking about a girlfriend or boyfriend (I'm more than used to not having a girlfriend) although they count too. What I mean is simply a balance so you don't veer off in one direction. I don't have that.

But, overall, I don't feel terrible which is the weird thing. I'm don't want to live uncomforably. If I feel bad I can figure out why and fix it. If I feel good I always find a way to ruin it. But since I don't feel either way, I don't know what to do. Anybody have any suggestion? (maybe putting an "s" at the end of the plural form of sugesstion would be a good start, idiot)

I know! The problem is I'm worried about NBC. Not their ratings or anything, I could (couldn't?) care less about that. All week they've been broadcasting here in Smush-O-Vision where the image is compressed and doesn't look right on the screen. I don't have a widescreen t.v. My t.v. is tiny and I can't afford a cheeseburger much less an HD-TV. If the picture isn't right my the time the Office comes on tomorrow I'll...I'll.....well, to quote Meatwad (with one change), "I don't want to do anything illegal here. But I will kill somebody in front of their own momma to watch the Office (that's the change). And if anyone testifies against me, I'll gouge their eyes out."

Yeah, that's it.
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Finally...One of My Teams Looks Good

If you didn't know, the Aggies beat the Miners on Saturday. Even though they played bad, I'm still happy because it has been years (actually, since my senior year in high school) that one of my favorite teams (Oakland Raiders, Boston Celtics, NMSU Aggies) has been competative. I don't count the Red Sox because I'm not a big baseball fan (though they did keep me from jumping off a large building by winning a World Series).

Well, I was at the game and yelled myself hoarse. It could've been worse, but my head started to hurt really bad towards the end of the first half (and my head never hurts, so THAT's how loud I was yelling). It was a great atmosphere and I was so happy that the so-called "Panamaniacs" came out in force. I haven't been to a game that loud since I was a kid (probably the early 90's).

If you ever have been having a terrible day, week, month, year or life (this may not cure a terrible life problem), just do what I did and yell your butt off, it doesn't matter where, singing "Gloria" in your car works just as well as cheering at a ballgame, but it really helps me to cut loose like that because I hardly ever do. And, best of all, it's totally allowed at a basketball game. Just be sensible and be sensible if you're around little kids. Tone the cussing down a little. Read a thesaurus during timeouts and at halftime so you can come up with some more intelligent ways to heckle the ref.

And pick up you're trash. Somebody is getting paid very little to do it and it is appreciated if you throw it away at one of the trash cans placed every couple of feet in the renovated Pan American Center.

In conclusion...Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Reggie!

Thank you and good night. Drive home safely.

And screw Fred Albers (from the local NBC news). What? You've never been to a basketball game where they cuss. Go to hell you jackass.